Is...different. It's busier, yet more relaxed. I have twice as many children to care for, but I have time to just sit and stare at her and admire her. It is a total contradiction. But we all love it. And it feels like she was always there. I mean, I remember life without her, but we do function well with her, like we have been doing it forever. Jessie just instinctively knows what to do. He gets her out of the car. He covers her with blankets in the cold. And Sam just adores her. Anytime she is crying and I am doing something, Sam goes straight to her, picks her up, and starts comforting her!
We had some rough days last week. She had bad gas, I assume from where I was falling asleep feeding her. A friend helped us figure that out. Afterward, we went straight to the store (at midnight!) and got her some Gripe Water, an herbal water based medicine. It starts working instantly. She slept so hard that night! And Jessie got to hold her for the first time in days. It took about a week and almost a whole bottle to get her back to normal again. Now she doesn't cry for gas anymore.
Today was the best day so far. Instead of crying during her awake hours, she stares and smiles and "plays." (She has been doing that a little more each day lately.) I don't want to miss a second of it! She is already 3-1/2 weeks old!
Speaking of, I have learned her schedule and cues finally too! I know exactly what makes her happy and what makes her mad. I know she likes to sit up. I know if she is tired and keeps pulling away from the boob, a certain blanket and one of two pacis make her settle right down. I know she is stubborn and determined and strong!. I know she doesn't like waking up alone. I know to expect her to wake up at 2, 5:30, 7:30, and 9:30 to feed. The 9:30 feeding is our bonding before Sam wakes up. I have nothing else to do but watch her. I even put away my phone. I talk to her and look into her eyes and think of what she will be like when she grows up. And I thank God over and over for her. There are other times in the day I have time to sit and bond, but I make sure to have this one every single day. I know she will stay up and play from 10-11, at which point she will get fussy and want to eat to go back to sleep. Then she will sleep for a few hours, get up, eat, play, get fussy until she falls asleep, and then she will stay up for several hours between about 3:30 and 7, then get fussy, eat, sleep (with a paci, which is nice because it gives me time to clean up before bed.) Then she wakes up at 11, eats, and does it all over again at 2 AM. Works perfect for "school." Her longest, hardest nap is during the time I'm working with Sam and doing housework. She will be up during cooking dinner, but that seems to be Sam's time with her. :) She won't sleep that long as she gets older, I know, but for now, it helps us adjust.
I am still learning to juggle them. Learning to enjoy both ages at once. When Sara is asleep, I want to get things done, but when she is awake, I want to enjoy the little time I have with her. That leaves Sam kinda stuck in the middle. But we have been playing games together and finding special projects. Maybe it is just a guilt thing that I am not 100% tuned into her all the time. I've tried over and over to make sure S is okay, but she doesn't seem to be bothered. She just says she knows Sara is nerdier and she doesn't have to have me every second. So either we have found good balance out she is good at suffering in silence. ???
Housework is a bit more difficult. Luckily my anxiety has disappeared, and the dust on the floor doesn't matter nearly as much as it used to. However, I still like to keep a clean house. Since Sara is at the breast a majority of the time, it is impossible to get anything done unless I put her in my Moby wrap. It helps, a lot. But it does take a toll on my back. And when I bend over, gravity pulls her down, as well as everything else. Kinda hurts, so I have learned a few tricks on how to put up pots and pans without bending over. Or removing laundry without bending down. My Husband gets a kick out of watching me walk around the house and clean while she is eating. It gives new meaning to multitasking.
She had her first Thanksgiving with us and today we went and got a Christmas tree. Sam enjoyed just simply having Sara present for these events. Next year she will be older, so I am sure it will be more enjoyable for her, but for now Samantha is just basking in the fact that she finally has a baby sister to share her days with.
Overall, life with my girls is good. I never thought I would say that...my girls. My children.
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