Things Remembered

Dear Samantha,

It has been almost 5 and 1/2 years since you were born. Five and a half wonderful years. And there are so many things I want to savor and remember about us. The Little Stuff.

I can close my eyes and feel myself rocking you as a newborn gently in my glider and singing your 3 favorite songs: Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, Rock-A-Bye Baby, and Hush Little Baby. Rubbing your back until you fell asleep.

And when I open my eyes back up you are older. We are reading the Baby Luvs books as I teach you where your toes are and tell you to kiss Baby Luv's nose. "Say Night-Night Baby Luvs."

Bedtime was always my favorite-and yours too I believe. We took baths together for the longest time. Sometimes we still do. But slowly you are outgrowing it. It breaks my heart. We used to have such fun splashing and experimenting in the tub. Now at least I can still sit on the outside as we do "sensory baths" like the Space Glow Bath or Fizz Paint.

Another thing I look forward to about bedtime is sleeping together. We have pretty much always co-slept. It makes us all feel safe. In the same room. Cuddled up together all night. Gives all 3 of us a sense of closeness. You beg me to rub your back until you fall asleep-just like I always have. And you ask me to sing to you. I can never say no. Again, I fear that it will end very soon as you grow older. Until then I make sure to hold you extra tight and sing as many songs as you need to fall asleep.....

The toddler years were fun. We began interacting on a whole new level after you turned 2. Our favorite thing to do together was eat peanut butter and vanilla wafers. Yum! That was our snack every Friday. You would say, "How was your day, Mommy? It good?" And we would just talk simply about our day.

We would spend our days watching Curious Buddies and dancing. Or reading Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom over and over again. Everything was new to you.

Two is also when the tea parties and dress up began. And while they weren't my favorite, I reminded myself to savor it because it wouldn't last forever. And it didn't.

Oh, and how things change as you grow older. When you were 3, we started our weekly trips to the library for storytime where we would sit and I would hold you. We would laugh and cuddle while we listened to that weeks' stories. Then we would get a ton of books and talk about what we were going to read first when we got home.

Four was the year you became a big girl. You became my helper. You understood much more. 

And 5 has been an adventure as we jump into home school and make new friends and go new places.

As your interests started developing, you started wanting to know about butterflies. Thus, we began our Butterfly studies. Raising butterflies together is something I will never forget. The awe in your eyes. We both saw the World in new light. That was when I knew homeschooling was the way for our family. Laughing together. Learning together. Discovering together. There is nothing in this world that makes me happier than that.

I want to remember our weekly lesson topics. And the activities we did-mixing gummy worms and some sort of Oreos and pudding to make "dirt cups." Once we made metal fish with fake pond backgrounds to talk about littering. And we colored-a lot and painted.

I want to remember all the plants we have planted. The first time we went to the garden center and looked around for butterfly plants for our back porch. The time we tried to do a window sill herb garden and failed...miserably. :) And this year, as we start preparing our first organic vegetable garden.

I want to remember all the baking and cooking we have done over the years. We have grown together in our abilities. We went from Hamburger Helper. (You would pour and stir.) And hotdogs where she would get out the buns and Ketchup. And now we are making our own sauces and noodles. Tortillas and breads. You are measuring and adding fractions. Halfing the recipes and recognizing which spices are which.

Like Sunday night-that was a night to remember. We baked a new recipe-Chocolate Cookies. And as we measured and stirred, wiped chocolate on each other, and laughed. You said, "I love baking with you, Momma." I knew right then I wanted to savor that moment forever. Freeze it in time.

And I did-in my mind.

We used to go to Sonic for an ocassional treat. I know it wasn't super healthy, but Happy Hour was something affordable and memorable-until you started having problems processing refined sugars. We would sit outside at the tables on warm days. I'd turn my phone on silent and it was like just you and I were the only ones in the world. You would tell me silly jokes. We would talk about how much fun we had at the playground. We would listen to the noises around us.

Being outside has always been one of our favorite things. And one thing we would do-still do is go on Nature Walks. Looking. Listening. Collecting. And when we get home, we draw in our Nature Journals what we saw. It is a peaceful time. Quiet time for us to reflect and grow together.

I want you to remember all these things too. Like the time recently that we came home after finding out the college you have gymnastics at was on lock down. It was cold outside. So we set up our own gymnastics in the living room. We ran and did stretches. We tumbled. And got your mattress out to pretend it was a trampoline. Now that hurt! It was funny though. Once you were worn out, we had a snack and watched ESPN's SEC Gymnastics on You Tube until you went to sleep.

Reading together. Learning together. Playing together. Praying together. Serving together.

It's bittersweet. Watching you grow. And looking BACK on these memories. But I know there will be more. And as you get older they will become different. We may begin to ride bikes together. Maybe you will get more involved in gymnastics and my fondest memories will be cheering you on from the sidelines and hugging you when it is all over, no matter the outcome. Maybe it will be planning for your wedding. Helping you prepare for your first baby. And my dream, maybe one day we will speak together. As these fond memories slow down, I will always have these to hold on to. These are the Blessings that make life worth living. I Love You, Samantha.