It's Christmas Eve, and this year I wrote my daughter a letter for Christmas, per the suggestion of a woman at the Center on giving gifts with meaning. I told Samantha the very best quality I believe she has is her Faith in God. At 5 years old, I believe most children have more faith than we do as adults. Samantha looks at everything with the eyes of, "God can do anything. He can be all, do all. He made everything. And he will do everything that he has promised. He is her protector. He holds her Sister in His hands. She was made special. And he Loves her just the way she is." She is not scared because she sees God for who is truly is. She is always loving on others and reminding me to pray when I'm angry or sad. She likes to help others and doesn't stop and ask, "What's in it for me?" She is honest, kind, and compassionate. (And of course still a normal 5 year old.) That is the kind of person I want to be every day. She has taught me a lot about God and about being a Mom. And when I stop I realize, she is teaching me, while I am also teaching her. And what am I teaching her? Is it good things? Is it pure things? I'd like to think so. But I'm sure there are times I send the wrong message. Maybe the message that yelling is okay if you have had a bad enough day. Maybe the message that gossiping is okay as long as it is "the truth." So what do I do?...The number one way we teach is not by fancy teaching "activities" or talking all the time. It's by modeling. I know that the saying, "Actions speak louder than words," is true. As a kid, nothing made me angrier than the simple statement, "Do as I say, not as I do." And even at 4 and 5 years old, I wondered, "Why do I have to do it if you don't to?" As humans we are imperfect and always striving to do better, but we are also commanded to confess our sins to one another so that we may be set free, and just because we are confessing to a child, does not make our freedom any less real. When our children see and hear us admitting our faults and doing what we can to fix our mistakes, that is the modeling that I think speaks the loudest.
These are some things I want Samantha to feel deeply when she leaves this home. These are the messages I strive to send.
-Follow God. In anything and everything she does, I want her to do it with a firm Faith in God.
-Be passionate about something. It doesn't have to be pro-life or homeschooling. Although being a Mother/Daughter team would be nice, but be passionate about something that brings good to others.
-Have a servant's heart. We were put here to serve God and to serve others. I want Sam to use her passions and talents from God and serve. " Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10
-Simply, I want Sam to Love and understand others. To remember none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes, big and small.
-Do NOT conform! I understand "to live in this world" certain things are required. We are commanded to follow our leaders that God has appointed and one thing that they say is that I can not live in the wilderness without having my child taken away. So yes, I must provide a home for her. But does it need to be a big fancy home? A home filled with crystal chandeliers or 5 stories high? With 4 cars in the garage. No. It does not. I have been accused of having no ambition because these are not the things I seek. But Romans 12:2 says, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."
-Turn the other cheek. Some people call this "being a doormat." I call it following Jesus' word. “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." Matthew 5:38-39
Although some of the next things are more Earthly, they are still things I want Samantha to hold dear as she grows because I believe it will keep her from focusing and valuing other, perishable things in life. In short, I believe it will teach her that simple living is the best living.
-I want Samantha to value family time. I don't know what that will look like in the future. But for present time sake, let's say movie nights, camping trips, beach time, hikes, looking at the clouds, Church Day.
-I want her to value scratch cooking and the smell of freshly baked holiday breads or brownies.
-And I want her to value teaching and learning. I want her to see the same value in studying a Sunflower in 20 years as she does today. I want her to see the importance of real learning and God's Creations. And not just man made things.
There are a number of things I do to send all these messages to my child, but if I listed it all this post would take all day. Model is the word I repeat to myself. Model. In everything you do, be the person you want your child to be.
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