Looking Back

Okay, so with this new season of Teen Mom coming up, I can't help but think about everything that has happened since I got pregnant. I saw the parts on the recap where they are all grumpy because they are taking care of the baby and waking up early for school. I remember that. It feels so long ago. Jessie and I used to argue about anything, but not to the point of cussing each other. I remember always jumping on him for leaving bottles out or not remembering to throw her diaper away for me. (The deal was that he got the stuff to change her and threw it away as long as I was the one who changed her. He hated diapers, even if they were just wet.) I remember changing diapers. It just seems so long ago, but it has only been a few months now. I remember making bottles and it taking FOREVER for her to drink an ounce. I remember when Samantha was little and all you could do to play with her was blow on her stomach or hold rattles in front of her face. Now she comes up to me and says, "Want to play dressup with me? We can have a teaparty." I remember having to carry around that bulky carseat. I remember when she was in daycare. I hated leaving her. I would always go visit her during lunch and sometimes I was able to bring her back to class with me! It always made me so happy. I also remember all her therapy and doctor's visits right after I got off school. That is how we spent most of our evenings. And the trip to Kentucky. That was almost a year ago! I remember cheering for her to walk and praying that she would just take a few steps so that I knew she would be okay and that she would get it. I think my favorite past time with her was the first summer I was out of school after she was born. We had a blast. Jessie still worked at Wendy's so we had the whole day to go do whatever. We took her to parks. We took her to museums and Indian reserves. Oh, and the pool! She Loved the pool. And her PT said it was good for her muscles so we took her almost every day. I remember when everything was so new...I hate to see all the old stuff fade away, but I know it will just keep getting better and better. I Love Samantha more and more every day. I know I have said it before, as have most Moms, I never knew I could someone Love this much. I honestly never thought I was capable. I Love her so much, that sometimes looking at her in the eye makes me want to cry, especially when she says it before I can, "I Love You, Mommy. SOOOO Much," Then she ends with, "Bear hug?"