Journal Entries

I picked this jounal because it could be for a boy or girl and I didn't want anyone to know we were trying for a Baby.

That is Jessie's first picture as a Dad, a picture when I was pregnant, and our first Family pictures taken at Christmas time. This is the front page of the journal.

Just some pictures I taped in there from when she was little.

The cheetah thing is her first coloring.

Her one year stuff and some Fall stuff we did.

That's my graduation invitation, a paper on a place we took a trip too, and a picture from a play date.

Stuff from Sami's BFF, Kylie Jade's, birthday party and a Parents As Teachers thing.

Where I keep track of all of her teeth.

Doctors's Appointments

Do you ever catch yourself in an old memory box or journal reading everything, taking it all in, trying to remember exactly how you felt when you were writing? Well, today during Sami's "quiet time," that is what I found myself doing. I was so emerged in the whole thing, I didn't even realize what was going on around me. I was reading a journal I wrote when Jessie and I first started trying for Samantha. Her whole whole life is in there. From journal entries about her growing up, her therapy, fun things we have done, to pictures, to post cards and pamphlets from places we have gone. I have everything recorded, weights, teeth-the dates they broke through and which one, milestones, names we had picked out, favorite/least favorite foods, schedules that I have made for her, reports I wrote in school about being a teen mom, pictures from my pregnancy and our car wreck. There is so much to read. Pages and pages. So I just read the beginning. From when we started trying, through my pregnancy, and then to about 3 months old.

I was going to type some from when we were trying to have a Baby in here, but they are SO embarrassing. lol. I was SO young compared to now and I didn't know anything. Ha Ha.

From when I first got pregnant, almost 3 years ago!

Sunday 27 January 2008 Current Mood: It stinks in here...bleh.

I was reading some little pamphlets on eating for two and on prenatal visits. My first visit, I have to have two blood test, right off! And I also have to get pricked for WIC, but that is at the health department. On the 4th, I am just going to take the test. It sucks the school won't excuse Jessie to go to appointments with me. I went to the nurse the other day, to go ahead and get my homebound papers. She asked me a bunch of questions, told me about the daycare. She also called Mrs. Hale (our counselor) and asked her to call me out of class one day-hopefully Monday to figure out my schedule for next year and what I can and can't homebound. So that's cool. She said a teacher will come out to my house twice a week and let me know what all is going on.

There is more from when I was pregnant about appointments and classes we took and how I felt-sick all the time, but that was my favorite one because I was just learning what all I had to do to get ready for Sami. Now having Sami is second nature to me, but then, everything was so...New.

Thursday 15 May 2008 Current Mood: Tired

Jessie felt the baby kick today! He ran and told my Mom. So far, he is the only one who has felt it. I went to the doctor Tuesday and we get another ultrasound in just TWO weeks to see what it is...28 May 2008 I weigh 144 and tomorrow will 23 weeks-over half way.

These were just some of my favorites, seeing what I weighed and when we first felt her kick.

A lot of the ones from when she was little are SO long, so I found one to write from when she was 3 months. I started writing to her once she was born. I wrote about her first Christmas, but I'm not going to put that part in here. It was so uneventful. lol.

Thursday 25 December 2008 Current Mood: Tired

I just put you to bed. I want to tell you how much you LOVE the bath. When you were a newborn, you would scream and cry. Now, it is the highlight of your day, and mine too. I LOVE our nighttimes together. Even if I am busy throughout the day, that is ALWAYS our time. You smile and splash in your bath. Then we sit down on the bed with the lights out. (That is when you KNOW it's time to eat!) We get you dressed and either Daddy or I read you a story. Now we can play music for you too-to calm you. (It is a new toy we got you for Christmas that plays music.) You sleep so good. And I never want to lie you down because you have such a tight grip on my finger. I'm going to Miss that when you get older. Good Night. Merry Christmas.

I found one thing I wrote and I don't even remember when I wrote it, but I remember writing it...
There are few things in this life we hold dear to us, few memories that we choose never to part with, to hold in our minds forever, and together they will all unravel to tell a story of joy, despair, and hope for the next life to be just as perfect and unbound as the ones we have lived on Earth all these promising years. Some are the deepest secrets never told, our fears, and some are the rarest pearls that you could find in the see of hope. For me, that pearl is my daughter. She is the greatest gift a Mother could receive. I am not sure what I have done to deserve her. Her smile, her enthusiasm, her never-ending source of Love are all just small attributes to the personality she contains as only an infant. Though she is not so much graceful or elegant as a child may be at times, she is the epitome of Perfection in an almost Angel like form. What I would ever do without her is beyond me. She is my everything and one of the few people of innocence in my life. She was given to me by the man I Love, which makes her even more particular to me. As she grows older I watch her and I study her sweet face. Her eyes, her most prominent feature of all the elements of the human, are as exceptional and radiant as her undying Love that a Parent has for their child. Whenever I begin to ponder on the journeys and multiple purposes God has crafted especially for me to attend to in this life, my eyes and my mind begin to venture and I can't help but think what I have done to earn such a sweet Blessing as the one fast asleep in her crib right now. The one that is careless and dreaming about the Angels she once knew while she was but a thought in our minds, just waiting to be called. She is my One, My Daughter, and my Purpose in Life.

I just think it is so fun to read and realize how things change as she gets older, not just with her, but with me. I am sure that they will continue to change as both of us grow. And one day, I will look back at the things I wrote recently and say, "So young..." Just like I do when I read the once from when I was pregnant.