We prayed for so long, and now you are here...

And it feels like when I talk about You, I complain far more often than I rejoice.

And I feel like I don't have that right.

You were longed for.

Sought after.

Tears were shed for you.

You did not just fall into our laps.

When I look into your eyes, I see a miracle. I see a child that is here by the grace of God. I see a child who has taught me patience in ways I could have never imagined before you came.

So why does my attitude not reflect my gratitude?

Why do my words not reflect the same thing as my prayers of thanks to God?

You may have been difficult in the past, but you are mine. You are learning. You are a member of our family who is so loved by all of us-no matter what.

You. Are our prayers answered. You alone changed our world.

And since you began walking, it has been so fulfilling to see you participate in the family in a way that you never did when you were always nursing.

You are what my heart wanted. So why had it been so hard? Why Does it feel like I am mourning for my lost only child? Why do I feel like some days, I play favorites for my oldest. Why is balance so hard? And will it always be this way?

I Love You, My Child. More than words can describe. I would give Life to you again a million times over. I would give my Life for you in a heartbeat.