36 Weeks

I am officially 36 weeks. Actually, by time I'm done writing this, I'll be almost 37.

3 weeks to go. Ish.

I hit "8 months" a few days ago.

And I am not afraid to admit I am starting to get tired. This whole pregnancy I have been bursting with energy. Although, at times I pushed myself a little hard, which isn't unusual for me-pregnant or not, I got a lot of things done that I wanted to accomplish and I didn't miss any important events with S. So now I am just in this stage of trying to enjoy the last month. I keep telling myself that I have doubled up on work the last 7 or so months and I deserve a break. Problem is, that will never happen. I thought it would. But it won't.

If it isn't one thing, it is another. No matter how hard I try, the laundry piles up. It always gets done every week, but it's a major challenge. Some weeks I have that one load that never got folded. And others I am ahead. So if I am not folding towels, I'm hanging up Hubby's work clothes. Or I had to do an extra load for bedding. Or there are just twice as many light colors as usual. But that, I can handle. What is a real struggle is that darn "to do" list! I can't stand to have stuff on It! So I work super hard to get everything marked off, and when I finally mark off that very last thing, like staining the front porch or cleaning the garage, I have to add something else. Another room, that perhaps I neglected while I was organizing the closets, now needs to be cleaned. I do a basic cleaning once a week. And it seems like once I finally get it done, it is somehow dirty again. But even if you put all the cleaning aside. Because, let's face it, it never ends and it needs to not be a huge priority, SCHOOL is a MAJOR time consumer. I LOVE homeschooling, but it is exhausting! I do not even see how people why formally homeschool make it through the day! I have 10 hours to get stuff done while Hubby is at work. I don't know what I would do going back to 8!! It isn't like we do THAT much. I spend mornings getting my Husband ready for work-cooking eggs, making coffee, packing up his lunch.Then depending on the day of the week, I clean house, pay bills, or work on whatever needs to be done. By time DD is up and dressed and done all her self-assigned chores like taking care of her crab and making her bed, it is 10:30 or so. And she REALLY struggles in math, so I'm talking about our morning "worksheet" taking over an hour to go over because she just doesn't get it. I have explained it, used videos, had friends explain, even certified teacher friends...heck, I've had my Husband explain. He is a math wiz. But she can't wrap her head around certain concepts. Sure, she can fly right through adding and even knows her multiplication concepts. But we spent 2 hours going over why it does not matter if you drop the zero in a math problem where the answer is 692 and she wants to put 0692. In fact, reading numbers over 999, some days she gets it and some days she doesn't. Yet, we go over this stuff every day. I delayed academics to give her brain time to mature. I have tried not using curriculum. I have tried using 3 different curriculums with different approaches. So here we are...treading water and I have no idea what to do next. She cries all the time because she doesn't understand. She gets so angry at herself. Vent over. Then, when that is finished, we eat. Then we usually do some sort of project, work together on something. Recently she tried a new art concept on canvas. We baked several cakes today. Etc. Then she reads while I nap-on the days I even get a nap. Some days that doesn't happen and she reads while I rush around getting stuff done looking like a zombie! Or maybe we have afternoon plans, such as swim. And then she plays while I start dinner. Then clean up. The whole routine. And once Hubby gets home and eats, after I have measured out his food for his diet, inhaled my own food, make Hubby's salad (lunch for the next day) and washed the dishes, I start all over with him. Checking his schoolwork. Explaining to him what the chapters are going over. (Human Anatomy is not his strong suit and I convinced him to take it.) It is a real work overload to come home after working 10 hours and then spend another 2 or so on school work 4 days a week. So I sit with him until about 9:30. Then I do Charlotte Mason reading with S, which can take an hour or so. Take a quick shower if I can hold my eyes open. Then I hit the bed.

And those are my home days! Other days we have to do things like Heritage Girls, which even on the days I rush out of there and don't visit, I don't get home until almost 10. Then we have the Center and other obligations. Things we signed up for awhile back and they just piled on. And then I have friends and even family constantly saying, "We don't get together enough." And I just want to cry because it is hard enough lately for me to get time with my own Husband let alone go to the playground for a playdate, which I recently found out I don't even have the energy for anymore.

I went all Summer. I did great. Kayaking, hiking, bouldering, swimming....And then Monday I woke up not feeling like myself. I was nauseous, exhausted-no matter how much I slept, and I had braxton hicks every time I stood up or bent over. And here is the real kicker, I wasn't even hungry!!! I haven't been since! Luckily I had an appointment that day and the midwife says, "Good news! Your body is getting ready to have the baby. Soon you will probably start throwing up again (hence the nausea), and that is your body's way if cleaning itself out. And the fatigue....your body's way of forcing you to rest before labor. Sara has dropped. And should be here soon." She said she doesn't own a magic crystal ball, but she would say 2-3 weeks. Right on target. Body is prepping.

Tonight I start taking my supplements to get this thing going. And then she will be here and we will all get a much needed break to be together as a family. Wish me luck!