Almost On The Path to "Remission"

Things could be worse. 

And I'm really counting my blessings each day. 

I am tired sometimes. 

That's okay. 

Sleep-wise, I am chronically exhausted. 

Since April I don't sleep as deeply. I wake up tired. Like having a newborn. 

From her sleeping in my bed, to me waking in the middle of the night afraid she quit breathing. To now sleeping in her bed (since she has moved back to the sleep room) when she is in the middle of a flare up. 

But it's all going to be okay. It's just a season. 

In this season, I'm frustrated. So frustrated. 

I have never felt so let down by modern medicine's lack of understanding about the body. A specialist truly is just that. A specialist. They seem to lack knowledge about anything else but that one thing. 

Western medicine is great. If you are dying. I don't mean that as an insult. I was never promised anything more than what they are. It seems however, diagnostically, they are just as uncertain as the rest of us who feel forced to Google symptoms in order to get an idea of what is going on. (Something I have always hated, but recently feel I have to do.) 

And I am INCREDIBLY angry that I have been treated like the enemy, like just a dumb parent looking for attention. Like I just enjoy going to the doctor so I get a referral for every little pain or ache she complains of. 

Have we had some doctors that I felt confident had covered all their bases could before we left? Absolutely. We have had two. Out of....eight...maybe more. 

But never have I ever in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be talked down to the way I was today. Treated like a liar. Practically yelled at. My daughter being called a liar and being practically yelled at as well. Did I feel confident that he even did the first thing to make sure there was nothing he could do to give her some relief? Not. A. Chance. 

I'm beyond frustrated. My daughter is tired of going to the doctor. She doesn't want to be touched or asked questions one more time. She is tired of hurting all day long, every single day. She is wearing down, and I am just praying that her sweet spirit would just hold on a little bit longer. We are SO close. 

The Good News: 

She has started seeing a functional doctor. Not a naturopath. A functional doctor with a healthcare degree who understands how the entire body works together. 

A functional doctor who spent 2 hours with us on the first visit. A doctor who could look at my daughter's labwork up to now and tell me without a shadow of a doubt that she has an autoimmune disease. Not just that. He is a doctor who is still tracking down which kind so that we know what to watch for. A doctor who has already come up with a natural and gentle treatment plan backed by actual science. A doctor who didn't say I had to buy all my stuff from him. A doctor who finally said, "Yes. It looks like 5 different things, but it's all connected. Here is how." He showed me how. He discussed the WHY. 

I have known it. I have seen it all along, and it was a huge blessing for somebody else to finally see it without me having to say it. A doctor who didn't say, "How odd. That doesn't usually happen to children. I don't know why it happened to her. Oh well." But a doctor who said, "Easy enough. Here is how we fix it. Then we follow up to make sure it worked." 

We have some work ahead of us, but we serve a God who prepared us from the start. It was always going to be okay.