Coping

I know you ladies are probably tired of hearing about cleaning and Lucy all the time, but that is just what is going on here...


I am learning to cope a lot better. My medicine has brought me down to a level where I can reason with myself enough to deal. And it has made these strategies more possible than they would have been before. I have come up with some strategies to help myself not to clean as much. 


-I do not allow myself to go over the rooms in my head. I fight it as much as possible. If I do not think of the rooms, I do not think of anything that is "messy." This is the biggest help.


-If the lighting in the house is darker, I do not clean as much. I assume because I can't see any messes. 


-I have come up with a strict cleaning schedule to follow. I only let myself clean in the mornings while Samantha is sleeping or nap time. The rest of the time I force myself to stay in her room. 


-If I have a really bad day, I use the distraction method. I get on the computer. Focus on a book. Or if it is really bad,  leave the house.  (Samantha and I had a day out the other day. Christmas sale shopping and grocery shopping. I took her out to eat at Chick-Fil-A. I have never taken her out to eat by myself, so that was fun. She got to play on the playground forever. She had a good day I would say.) 


-I have also learned little things that make a big difference like Samantha's bookshelf has been driving me nuts because I want everything to be perfect, and obviously not all the books are the same size, and they don't match, so I sold her bookcase and I am going to get a basket with the money I made on her bookcase to put all her books in. Because in my head, if it is in a basket, it doesn't matter if it is messy. It is cuter if it isn't in order. Laugh if you want. It works in my head. Same with wood. In my head, if wood has scratches, it is textured and therefore looks cute. But if plastic has scratches, it just drives me nuts. 


Side Note: I am extremely proud that I have been able to spend time with Jessie and not worry too much about messes. In fact, the other night after dance we made pizzas together, and then we watched movies, and it was late, so I just straightened the kitchen up, but I was able to leave the dishes in the sink over night and do them this morning. I felt so good about it. That I wasn't missing together time with them over a few dirty dishes. 


Also, I have seen a big change in the way Jessie and I get along the last few days. Not that we really argued a lot before, but I don't know how to explain it. There is just a difference. 


Another thing, his 21st birthday party went very well. He had such a great birthday, which I am extremely proud about because last year was awful because I FORGOT it! And on top of that we were completely broke because he worked at Nabco and I couldn't even afford to go to the Dollar General down the road and get eggs to bake him a cake. 


Sorry for the long post again. I am just extremely excited because I feel like I have made a lot of progress over the last month or two. 


Here are some pics. 

Ready for Dance-In Her Dance Hoodie

She is getting so big. 

Uh. Yah. Gross. Me and her were sharing that pizza too. :) 

He really enjoyed it. We are thinking of starting to do something like that once a month. 

They turned out pretty well. 

This is a sample of what the front of the necklace will look like. 

Here is the back.